Wednesday, June 26

Due to the time change, we inadvertently slept through breakfast and the cooking demo of Andre Soltner, former owner of New York's famed Lutece. It was a shame, because Soltner is a marvelous chef and very personable besides.

Since the weather was still awful, we did not venture out of doors, preferring to explore the 10 passenger decks of the 963-foot long ship. Whew -- where to begin? The 34-year-old Queen Elizabeth 2 has steamed 4.5 million miles, completing almost 1,200 voyages. Traveling at a cruising speed of about 28 knots, she is the fastest passenger liner in service. A total of 1,016 crew members attend 1,750 passengers, who sleep in 926 cabins (664 are outside). Here's a trivia note: The QE2 boasts one of the largest libraries afloat, a fun place to while away hours in bad weather.

In our explorations of the ship's eleven decks, we stumbled upon the ship's florist, called the Greenery, tucked into a corner of 3 Deck. We learned that most of the floral arrangements come from Holland, where a distribution center gathers blossoms from around the world.

While I was awed by her grandeur, I could see that the grand dame was showing some signs of age. Plumbing was a bit decrepit and the general layout downright confusing; it took me a week to learn my way around. However, we found the service, especially in the Princess Grill, impeccable.

After lunch in the Princess Grill, it was time for my pedicure. Doing the honors was a skilled podiatrist named Kelly who was taking a year off from his practice to travel. It's the best toe job I've ever had ($63.25) which included a soothing foot massage. This pampering was followed by a facial which involved plastering all sorts of goop on my face. It felt great and I even fell asleep, but I don't look any different and I hardly think it was a worth the $96 price tag.

Dinner began with double orders of caviar, requested by our Irish server, Katriona. We decided to tactfully ask her to skip the caviar tomorrow night and bring something else. Tonight the duck and sirloin steak were delicious, and dessert was an assorted cheese plate. In the Grand Lounge afterwards, we heard a fabulous violinist who played gypsy and classical pieces, and selections from "Fiddler on the Roof." Then we repaired to the Yacht Club where we did the electric slide, quite a feat on the gently rolling deck.

Thursday, June 28

Today's food show was an all-chocolate presentation by François Dionot of Academie d' Cuisine of Bethesda, Maryland, outside Washington D.C. After preparing white chocolate cheesecake and a decadent chocolate terrine, he provided delicious samples which we collected for our chocoholic table mates.

After lunch, I was lounging by the pool when I suddenly realized: I SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE ELSE. Mark's wine tasting -- for which I paid $10 -- had started a half hour earlier! So, clad in my jelly sandals and pink cat cover up, I raced down four decks and slipped into the gathering, held at the Caronia Restaurant Annexe. Fortunately, the group was still sampling the first of four wines, divided between "Old" and "New" worlds, compliments of the ship's extensive wine cellar. During Mark's commentary I learned that Cunard maintains a modest wine markup, sometimes lower than the usual 50 percent. I liked an Australian Shiraz so much that I chose it for that night's dinner of chicken in aspic and poached salmon, followed by that divine chocolate terrine. (We had had pre-prandial libations in the Grill, a lounge open to Queen, Princess and Britannia Grill passengers. As we sipped our Pinot Grigio, a waiter brought around mini eggs Benedict made with quail eggs. The concoction was quite tasty, but I would hate to peel all those tiny eggs!)

Friday, June 29

This was our last day: time for our long-awaited galley and wine cellar tour. The QE2 has one main galley (the one we visited) and five all together, one for each restaurant. The gleaming, spotless kitchen was state-of-the-art, but we were wary of the slippery floor. We noted that fixtures are bolted down for rough weather. We peered into seemingly bottomless, 250-liter vats of soup and learned that each oven can accommodate 60 prime ribs. No British beef lurked in those ovens; in the wake of the hoof and mouth disease outbreak in the United Kingdom, Cunard currently purchases only American meat products.

Then we embarked on the wine cellar tour, led by provisions manager Cath Wilcoxon. We descended even farther below, to Deck 8, the very bowels of the shop. Secured with a huge padlock was the "Connoisseur Collection," a vault with a wooden rack cradling precious vintages. Chateau Petrus 1977, for example, goes for a cool $585. Cath told us that one evening, a table of high rollers ordered three such bottles and she had to fetch them one at a time from the vault.

After lunch, I caught the final roundtable discussion of the four Chef's Palate participants: Julia Child, Andre Soltner, François Dionot and Mark Phillips. Questions included: "How did you get into food?" "Favorite dishes?" "Disasters?" "Role of TV and the Internet in food?" When asked about fast food, Julia professed a fondness for Burger King!

Afterwards, I swam and napped. Ah, such indulgence! As I gazed lazily up at the sky, a fighter plane swooped by. Then a helicopter brought the pilot to guide the ship through the Celtic Bay off the coast of Ireland. Almost there!

Later, as we sipped our Sauvignon Blanc in the Grill, Julia Child and her entourage were chatting at the next table. Our final dinner included smoked salmon with caviar, cream of broccoli soup laced with Stilton, and lamb curry with assorted condiments, accompanied by the Shiraz. The final show was a wonderful singer who was compared to Caruso, who crooned a beautiful rendition of an aria from "Turandot."

Saturday, June 30

We docked in Southampton early, and disembarkation was relatively smooth. As we had arranged our own transportation to London, we remained on board after most passengers had departed. Clo took the opportunity to take me on a grand tour of the almost-empty ship. On the top (Signal) deck, we peeked into the posh Grand Suites, complete with marble-lined bathrooms, separate dining areas and private verandas. Price tag, which includes butler service and personalized stationery: $22,990 per person for six nights.

As planned, my husband and I had our rendezvous in London, and from there we journeyed to Scotland. But that's another story. Never mind that our garden was a shambles when we returned home in late July. My QE2 odyssey was well worth it.

Fun Facts

• The QE2 employs 105 kitchen workers, representing 15 to 20 nationalities. For safety reasons, all are required to speak English. The ship's five restaurants have 178 waiters/waitresses.
• On a typical day, the galley uses 2,560 tea bags, 115 pounds of coffee, 230 gallons of milk, 481 pounds of butter, 90 gallons of ice cream, 97 pounds of mayonnaise and 241 pounds of bananas. Between New York and Southampton, the QE2's five restaurants crack 50,000 eggs.
• Getting more upscale: on a typical crossing, sommeliers pop 1,000 bottles of champagne and waiters dish out 420 pounds of smoked salmon, 580 pounds of lobster and 75 pounds of caviar. In fact, QE2 is the world's largest consumer of the pricy little fish eggs, and I did my share to uphold that honor.
• Each day, bartenders use 2,610 cocktail stirrers, 960 toothpicks, 3,540 paper napkins and 7,850 paper doilies.
• And consider this: in 5 days, passengers go through 2,700 rolls of toilet paper.

Cunard has not scheduled the Chef's Palate for 2002, but other lines, including Radisson Seven Seas, Silversea and Crystal offer similar culinary cruises. Crystal has announced an extensive 2002 Food and Wine lineup with myriad destinations.

A freelance food and travel writer based in Washington, D.C., Celeste McCall loves ships, past and present. A member of the Titanic Historical Society, she has embarked on more than a half dozen very modern voyages. She has visited ports of call including Lima, Rio, Buenos Aires, Shanghai and Hong Kong; sailed through the Panama Canal, explored the Volga, climbed the Great Wall of China and Machu Picchu, and snorkeled in Belize.

A former writer and restaurant critic for The Washington Times, Celeste has contributed to local and national publications including Fodor's City Guide to Washington DC, Best Bets (an annual guidebook to DC), Caribbean Travel & Life, Porthole, The Washington Post, Foodservice Monthly, Lodging and Roll Call.

She is a member of Les Dames d'Escoffier, an international organization of women in the fields of food, restaurants and hospitality. When not traveling or writing, Celeste and her husband of 32 years, Peter, who shares her love of travel, like to read, lounge on the beach and cook out in their backyard. They dwell on Capitol Hill with their four cats: Eggplant, Artichoke, Gypsy, and Jesse. Celeste may be reached at celeste@us.net